After my previous post https://www.amerdeep.com/post/being-vulnerable-and-all-that-jazz it was my intention to write a follow up piece to clarify a couple of things.
Firstly, not everyone gets to witness your vulnerability. You being vulnerable is a sacred thing. So do it only where you feel comfortable and from there build it up. Always listen to your gut, your intuition, about who you can open up to and who you can trust.
This is one valuable lesson I have learnt especially when in chronic pain. That is not everyone can hold a space for us to be vulnerable. Some people we aren't safe to do this with and not because either party has done something wrong. But because people can only do something for you and be there for you, at the level they have healed themselves. Some people couldn't understand my pain as never had experienced it. Some people were cruel with their comments. I've learnt to not go to those people for support.
I'm still learning to trust my intuition and who I'm sharing myself with. I practise trusting that inner wisdom that I have within me. So I can get better at knowing who I can trust and who I can open up in front of.
I'm positive you’ve probably had this experience as well. You know the one, where you've opened up to someone and it's slapped you right back in the face. Maybe the person was indifferent or mean or didn't listen. Whatever it was, we've all had experiences where trusting people burnt us.
That doesn't mean we never trust people.
It doesn't mean we never be vulnerable or that we never open up or never show the right people who we are. It means we listen to the voice inside that is guiding us. That little nudge that says to us when and where we are ok to open up.
Doing this platform, for example has come from a series of steps I took in being vulnerable more. I am aware some people's reaction to anything I write may not be positive. I am learning that the more I deal with the vulnerability hangover and get over it, the more I am taking risks and feeling comfortable doing so. Baby steps though always.
Remember you get to choose who sees you and your truth. You don't need to be vulnerable everywhere If you don't want to be. We get to pick and choose who we have in our lives. This includes family.
Also, what we may perceive as a flaw actually isn't. For a long time, I had a wall up because I thought unconsciously it was safer. In reality, it kept me away from love and enriching life experiences. Now, slowly I might add, I am working in partnership with my intuition and vulnerability to know to whom and where I can show these sides of myself.
So, lean into your superpower, your intuition and hear what it's whispering. You'll find as you listen more it'll guide you and it'll get easier to know when and where to be vulnerable.
If I hadn't leaned into all of this, would I be writing this right now? Would I have the strong relationships I have in my life now, If I hadn't opened up and shown who I really am?
Would I have healed as much as I have if I hadn't trusted that it was ok to be vulnerable in front of the right people, who could help me?
Seeing vulnerability as a power is challenging especially when we are going through tough life experiences. Perhaps this is a different perspective to one you have grown up with. So, let the idea float around in your mind and see how it sits with you. Perhaps try it out, ever so gently at first. As always with these things, baby steps, folks. This is my motto for life now having tried the other way of diving headfirst into things. Also, having been burnt or burning out from doing too much too fast. Never any need to rush anything especially with the healing journey.
You are welcome to share in the comments any areas where you have tried this. If you have even tried you are doing well folks.